We build and maintain relationship with people and society all the time. For some of us, this is not only a job but also a lifestyle.

What I have realized is that I am so busy in my relationship with others that I have neglected my relationship with myself. I have always believe that what define us most is not the relationships we have with others but more our relationship with our own self.

Have a personal sanctuary and visit it deliberately, regularly. This sanctuary could be a physical space or a non-physical space or even both. Use it to build and nurture your relationship with yourself. Create practices that can support you in this.

Guard and cherish it with the fierceness of a lioness protecting her cubs. Be jealous of this sacred space of yours. Having a healthy and enriching relationship with oneself is the building block of our self power.

Automatic vs manual? Of course many will choose automatic for it makes life easy, manageable and less time consuming. As all things in duality, there are prices we pay.

Manual or being deliberate allows us to savor, experience and sense many a things that in an auto mode is transparent (we see thru it = invisible) to us; leaving us with little to be thankful & in gratitude for.

So the big question is, which one? I say both and be deliberate in both!

So that means be deliberate? Yes, be deliberate in being automatic and be deliberate in being deliberate. Confusing or even easier said than done? Yes 🙂 As all things in life, sorting and working it out; deliberately (pun intended) is where the learning is.

Today being Saturday will be a perfection a day as any for me to test it in my work and leisure for today I live in both ‘worlds’ equally.

In his own words, gratitude goes beyond thankfulness. While the latter is usually resulting from an exchange, gratitude means just being thankful to life for all the gifts we already have by being alive. Again, in his own words, gratitude is the emotion that can free humankind from his never-ending dissatisfaction … gratitude can bring sufficiency.

Julio’s message is deep and piercing … can we be happy just with what we already have? I, myself, find it difficult … most of my life has been driven by wanting what I don’t have. But does gratitude mean that we have to stop pursuing more? Maybe not. Maybe gratitude means being happy and grateful to life, but not necessarily assuming a passive and resigned existence.

Simplicity #1: Wanting what I have vs having what I want

This was first offered to me by one of my coaches; either Deanne Prymek or Patricia Hirsh, I can’t remember. Both are equally enlightening that is why I can’t recall which one.

This first stumped me. I was struggling trying to make out what it meant. Allowing it to stew; being in the question, has finally opened up my learning.

I realized that in life, I tend to look forward and focus on what I want. I am consumed to having what I want. As a result, it has made my body disposition and mood one of resolution. I seek gratification outside of who I am. I feel hollow, empty; seeking to fill up my void.

Once I appreciated what I have; wanting what I have as oppose to overlooking what I have, I began to feel at peace. In fact a sense of abundance comes to me. I appreciated myself more, I feel I am capable and started to believe more of my own ability; thus confidence.

With this, I suddenly realize I wanted less things in my life. The things I need are now purer. I am able to distinguish and eliminate more of my wants that I’ve disguised as my needs.

I am blessed with so much already. It is just a question of wanting what I already have 🙂