The connection between the value of an ego with our ability to make choices

Often times it is hard for us to make choices. Based on my own experience, the reason why this happens is because the price for me to pay in making the choice is too big. This can be reduced by focusing on the gains that I might get from making the choice instead of focusing on the price. In addition, willingness to live with the prices is also vital in making a choice.

Having said all this and realising it, I still find it hard to make a choice. During these times, what I observe is that the price is too big and overshadows the gains; well, that is what I thought.

Out of many prices to pay, the hardest to pay is the price of one’s ego. The desire to be bigger, the need of wanting to be better, the desperation to be right , the pull to being richer etc get in the way; big time.

What has worked for me is to hack onto this by reducing the value of my ego.

If I price my ego at RM1million, than of course there will be very seldom a time I will be willing to pay that price. However, what if I price my ego at only RM1? Surely there will be more times I am willing to pay the price.

Sad that the value of happiness is less than the value of our ego. So too is the value of trust and integrity.

The sooner we put a realistic value to our ego, the faster it will be for us to gain all that is more valuable to us all.

Coaching 101: The Passenger-Driver relationship of Emotion and Rational


“Are you willing?” is a question I always ask in coaching. If the answer is YES, than there is work to be done. If the answer is NO, than no amount of coaching and strategising will help. Move on to what is next.

The emotional part is ‘The Elephant’ in Chip & Dan Heath book Switch. Change will only happen when the elephant decides to move.

The notion that emotions has no role to plan in decision making is a myth. It has to do a lot with the decision that you make; in fact a huge part. And get this, it is not the whole part 🙂

A decision that is made with the absence of emotion will be one that is, at best, devoid of energy, motivation and push. While at its worst is a decision void of compassion, humility and humanity. Bare in mind having, recognising and acknowledging your emotion is very different than being emotional. Being emotional is acting at the spur of the moment with the emotion driving the action full force without a passenger-driver called rational.

A healthy balance of both rational and emotion is needed. Both needs to be taken into consideration. One is flawed without the other.

Having said all that, at the end, the emotional part of the decision is what will determine its success. Once a decision is made; either via the rational or emotional argument, the emotion will need to take the lead to drive it with the rational at the front passenger seat. As time goes by, rational will need to trade place with emotion and vis versa throughout the journey till you reach your destination.