Disrespectfulness of Answers

In my Newfield Coaching journey, I was introduced to the friends and barriers to learning. This is one of the many wonderful discoveries I found in this very unique journey of mine. Out of the many barriers to learning, one of the most intriguing for me was “Addiction to answers”.

I use to live a life of wanting answers to everything to a point of frustration. I kid myself that it is what learning is all about… having the answers. It is an obsession of wanting to be in control because if I know the answer, I can then manipulate the outcome. So did I learn anything actually? Yes I do. I learn to manipulate but I lost the wisdom of the answer along the journey since I am hell bent on control.

I now realize that the learning and understanding (wisdom) is not in the answer itself but in looking for the answer. It is not even important what the answer is. You can even abandon the answer or pray you never get the answer so that you can continue to learn and gain insights and wisdom.

I also have concluded in my journey so far that not everything has an answer and not everything needs an answer. Sometimes in order for us to understand it, not getting the answer is just what is needed
and some things are best left without an answer and some things are best honored by just appreciating it as it is without needing to look for the answer; like a mother’s love.

I surely don’t need to know the answer why my mum loves me. It is enough for me to experience her love. No answer is needed. Anyways if i understand the answer why she loves me, what difference would that make? Would my love for her be more? I don’t think so. Would her love for me be more just because I know the answer? I don’t think so. Therefore, in this case I don’t need to know the answer to understand why my mum loves me. Actually, in wanting an answer is in fact disrespectful. Me asking why my mum loves me and seeking for an answer is disrespectful of the person that loves you; my mum.

I also realized that once I was able to get the answer, my pleasure and passion is gone. So in actual fact, the pleasure is not in the win. It is in the play. Once you win, there is no play, no passion since you are already in an ability mood. The game ceases to make you wonder and learn. That is the price for getting the answer… losing pleasure and passion.

There are many life wonders that does not need me to know the answer to see its wisdom and appreciating it. There is beauty in allowing nature and life to do its magic and wonder without us needing to manipulate it.

I truly believe knowledge and wisdom is two different things. I much prefer wisdom.

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